Hell Toupee For Kevin McCarthy

My Absolute Truth script today:

FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE SURPRISED THAT HOUSE MINORITY LEADER KEVIN MCCARTHY WAS CAUGHT ON TAPE WANTING PRESIDENT TRUMP TO RESIGN, THE OBVIOUS QUESTION IS: WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED?

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO WAKE UP. KEVIN MCCARTHY HAS BEEN A FAKE CONSERVATIVE FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

LETS START WITH THIS OBVIOUS QUESTION: WHY WAS MCCARTHY ON THE PHONE WITH DISGRACED NEO-LIBERAL LIZ CHENEY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

AND THE ANSWER IS: BECAUSE KEVIN MCCARTHY PICKED HER TO BE PART OF GOP LEADERSHIP.

NOW WHY WOULD HE PICK THE MOST UNPOPULAR WOMAN IN WYOMING TO BE IN GOP LEADERSHIP? MY SOURCES TELL ME: BECAUSE MCCARTHY WANTS TO BE A RICH LOBBYIST ONE DAY AND SUCKING UP TO DICK CHENEY'S DAUGHTER IS A GOOD WAY TO GET THOSE FAT LOBBYING CONTRACTS. 

LAST YEAR, MCCARTHY GOT CAUGHT RENTING A ROOM FROM THE DISGRACED OXYCONTIN LOBBYIST FRANK LUNTZ. THIS WAS AN ODD ARRANGEMENT. WHY IS A  GOP LEADER RENTING ROOMS FROM A LOBBYIST AT ALL? 

WELL, THEY'RE JUST TWO GUYS LIVING IN A MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RELATIONSHIP OF COURSE.

IN FACT, MCCARTHY ENCOURAGES OTHER GOP CONGRESSMEN TO GET ON PHONE CALLS AND LISTEN TO THE POLITICAL ADVICE OF POLLSTER FRANK LUNTZ -- WHO IS A DEMOCRAT SHILL WHO HAS BEEN WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS.

LUNTZ IS SO RIDICULOUS THAT HE WEARS A DEAD GERBIL ON HIS HEAD INSTEAD OF A PROPER TOUPEE. HE BUILT A REPLICA OF THE WHITE HOUSE OVAL OFFICE IN HIS HOUSE.

LUNTZ IS AN IDIOT. 

IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE GOP HAS DONE NOTHING ABOUT LOCKDOWNS OR VACCINES IN THE LAST TWO YEARS, JUST CONSIDER THE FACT THAT FRANK LUNTZ WAS PROBABLY BEING PAID TO PUSH THE VACCINES WHILE THE HOUSE MINORITY LEADER WAS LIVING IN LUNTZ'S HOUSE.

KEVIN MCCARTHY IS NOT A SUPPORTER OF PRESIDENT TRUMP AND HIS POLICIES. HES SIMPLY A GRIFTER AND AN OPPORTUNIST WHO WILL SAY ANYTHING THAT HE IS PAID TO SAY. HE SHOULD BE FORCED TO RESIGN FROM GOP LEADERSHIP BECAUSE HE CHATS WITH LIZ CHENEY, BECAUSE HE LIVES WITH FRANK LUNTZ, BECAUSE HE HAS DONE NOTHING AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO NOTHING FOR AMERICA.

AND THATS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.